So you have met someone and started dating them – awesome! Now the question is how do you make sure your relationship will last?
Men and women may think differently but both want to be loved and feel great.
So the 1 simple tip to make your relationship last is to know what the other person’s love language is.
Ok I can hear you asking WHAT is a love language?
A love language is the way people express and interrupt love. The idea is: we all express and feel love differently, and understanding those differences can help your relationship. In fact, it’s the simplest ways to make your relationship last.
Why is it important?
It is important because to be successful in a relationship you need to feel loved and let the other person know they are loved.
Most couples speak a different love language and this causes problems. Think of it like one person speaking Mandarin and the other person speaking English – they simply won’t understand each other. This is NEVER good news for a relationship!
There are 5 love languages and they are:
- Words of Affirmation
If this is your love language you will feel loved from words, praise and appreciation. For you actions don’t speak louder than words! You love compliments that you didn’t ask for, you love to hear ‘I love you’ and hearing why someone loves you. You need to hear your partner give you genuine compliments and praise. On the flip side negative words and insults will greatly affect you, be long remembered and make you feel unloved.
- Quality Time
You feel loved when you are given undivided and undistracted attention. For you to feel loved you want the person to turn the TV off and be present with you. For some quality time is listening and others it is doing things together. If this is you then the person being distracted, cancelling a date or not listening to you will be the worst.
- Acts of Service
Can fixing the dripping tap be an expression of love? Definitely for the person whose love language is acts of service. If this is you then you will use actions, rather than words, to show and receive love. You will show you love someone by doing something for them. The worst things you can do for someone who speaks this love language is to not do as you say, be lazy or make more work for them – this will simply tell them they don’t matter.
- Physical Touch
If this is your love language then touch is important and it isn’t all about sex, it can be holding hands, hugging, thoughtful touches, etc. With this love language, the speaker feels and shows affection through physical touch. They show their concern, care, excitement though touch – without this they will feel unloved.
- Receiving Gifts
This love language isn’t about being greedy and wanting everything. If this is your love language you feel loved through the thoughtfulness and the effort that goes into buying a gift for you. It is all about the gesture – it shows you were thought of, cared for and loved. For you gifting is symbolic of love and affection. The worst thing you could do for someone with this love language is forget their birthday, anniversary or Christmas! Thoughtless or last minute inappropriate gifts will make them feel unloved.
Did you recognise which one you were as you were reading? Did you recognise which one the person you are dating is? To know exactly what your love langauge is you can take the test 5 Love Languages – this is based on the book by Gary Chapman.
Now you have a better understanding of how you each feel loved it is time to learn to show you care in a way that speaks to them through their love language.
You have the keys to make your relationship last.