Approaching someone of the opposite sex can be scary; in fact for some people it can be terrifying. Traditionally men have approached women and I know from my experience as a Dating Coach it is one of the hardest thing for a guy to do because one of their biggest fears is being rejected.
I am often asked what the best pick up line is and I personally don’t believe you need a ‘pick up’ line. A sincere, simple, good conversation will work every time. In fact I spoke in a previous blog how 74% of 2000 singles surveyed found conversation more attractive then looks!
The key is to be confident and sincere as it works best. No matter how good your approach is it won’t work if you aren’t sincere.
And don’t let fear put you off, even the best pick up artists admit they still feel fear when approaching good looking women.
Excitement and fear are actually very similar emotions and the only thing that separates fear from excitement is a smile!
Talking to the opposite sex is a skill – one that you can learn and it is one where practice really does make perfect. It is a bit like public speaking you get better the more often you do it!
It is important to make a genuine connection when you talk to people. Even if you aren’t interested in the person you can make someone’s day with a lovely compliment – like saying they have a lovely smile or have chosen the perfect outfit.
The key is sincerity – people will pick up on whether you believe in yourself and what you are saying from your body language.
The other thing if you are approached by the opposite sex – be kind imagine you were doing the approaching!
Here are 5 simples tips:
1. Speak with confidence
Be clear and don’t hesitate, especially when you are asking a question. In normal conversations people don’t hesitate when they ask a question! When you hesitate people take that this to mean that you don’t believe in yourself or what you are saying. When you talk to people directly and unapologetically you will instantly be more attractive.
2. Eye contact Matters
Making eye contact creates intimacy. But make sure you aren’t creepily staring as this will have the opposite effect. The key is to see someone and be decisive and walk over and talk to them, if you spend too much time staring at them it makes you appear creepy. Decisive action always works and is a sign of confidence.
3. Don’t make Boring Small Talk
Don’t ask boring questions like what you do for work as they will not build attraction or make you memorable. In fact boring questions will kill attraction. Be playful, have fun and banter.
4. Don’t give up at the first sign of resistance
Often people may be surprised you have talked to them. It is important to push through the uncomfortable feeling and initial resistance. Again be playful with what you say. Remember you can leave every conversation with someone feeling better; it all comes back to confidence and practice!
5. Don’t be the person that laughs too much
This may sound strange as everyone likes a laugh. What I am talking about is the awkward laugh, you know the one people have when they are uncomfortable. They will laugh awkwardly, inappropriately when there isn’t anything funny. This won’t build a connection and will make you look desperate. You can however, use a joke and a shared laugh to build rapport. What does work every time though is the cheeky smile