Have you ever wondered what the early warning signs are that someone isn’t right for you? It is a common question I am asked and this blog will give you a simple answer to an age-old question!
You can meet someone, be attracted to them and want them to be the right person for you. You want it so much that it can be easy to get caught up in the fantasy idea of them and what being with them will be like. So, much so that you miss the clear early warning signs that they not right for you at all!
This is why the people around you might be able to see the reality when you can’t. In fact, your friends and family can often see they aren’t right for you, yet you can waste months on someone because of chemistry and thinking that they just might be the one!
You have been sick and tired of being single and being on your own. You have started to invest in this new person and don’t want it to go to waste. The problem is all this does is waste more of your valuable time.
You might stay with them because:
- They are good looking
- You worry there won’t be anyone else, as it’s been a while.
- You’re sick of being alone, and you enjoy the company!
- When you are with them it does feel good.
- Something is better than nothing!
But all you are really doing is missing out on the chance to find a better match.
I do find it interesting how often people waste time on the wrong type of unavailable single who will NEVER give them what they want, yet don’t give a chance to the ones that can!
How do you know they are right for you or not?
There are actually always clear warning signs if they aren’t right for you if you take the time to notice.
People may even tell you to give people the benefit of the doubt and that first impressions aren’t always right yet don’t underestimate those early warning signs!
Early Warning Signs
First of the Warning Signs – Early Dates Turn Bad
The beginning of the relationship is the best time! It should be fun, easy and drama free. It is the time you are going all out to impress the other person and enjoy their company! This is not about pretending to be someone you are not but a normal reaction to meeting anyone you want to be accepted by. You will do it in any area of your life like a new job, making new friends, etc.
The person who is right for you will value you and treat you well. They will also show physical signs they are into you. In fact, the chemistry will make them want to be around you, they won’t be able to hold back the smile when they see you as it feels great to be around you. They will want to be close to you, look into your eyes and touch you. They also won’t want to give anyone else the chance to steal you away.
Don’t fall into the trap of accepting bad behaviour or treatment. If you are continually analysing the relationship and it doesn’t FEEL good for you then listen to that. The early days should be fun and easy not full of stress, uncertainty and drama. If the person isn’t bothering to show that good side and your early dates go bad it’s a big warning sign. This could show up in the way they talk to you and act – notice those signs! If things are heading in a bad direction from the start, move on.
Second of the Early Warning Signs – They Don’t get You
If they don’t understand where you are coming from it will make it hard for your relationship to stand the test of time. You might have chemistry but you also need to be able to ‘get’ each other and be compatible. Compatibility means that you can match in the areas that matter, with your values, some shared interests and how you relate to each other.
Communication is essential for a successful relationship, if you continually misunderstand each other it’s another big warning sign.
Someone who’s compatible with you will:
- Enjoy who you are and your company
- It will be easy and enjoyable to be with them
- They will like you for who you are
- The person will value the same things and have a personality that works with yours. Opposites may attract, yet when they are too opposite it will pull you apart or require EXTREME patience!
3rd of The Early Warning Signs – You’re Hot, They’re Lukewarm
You both need to be hot for each other for the relationship to work. If it’s always you making the effort and they don’t make any effort, it’s not a good sign. When they are into you, you will be in no doubt! In fact, you won’t have to continually second guess where things are at. They will contact you and make the effort, let you meet their important people, talk about the future and remember what you have told them. When they aren’t they will enjoy the moment and the company but won’t take it any further– I see people waste years on this type of person. With this type of person, it can be all too easy to get caught up in the moment and how good that feels and miss the BIG picture and what it really means.
Someone who’s into you will:
- Make the effort to see you regularly.
- Introduce you to the important people in their life.
- Talk about the future and with you in it.
- They will take notice of what you tell them and want to know more about you and not just on a surface level.
It is a huge warning sign when they just aren’t into the relationship as much as you are. Notice this sign!
You may feel like it is hard to be alone but honestly being in and staying in a bad relationship or one that doesn’t fulfil you can be harder.
The right person will be into you, they’ll make the effort, share your values, and genuinely enjoy your company. Believe me when I say that they are well worth waiting for.
If you are struggling with a dating or a relationship that is not working out, why not book in a free discovery call?