So you have met someone great and are wondering if they are the one and have long term potential. How do you decide if the relationship will work and has long term potential?
There is an easy way to find out!
By asking 33 key questions that will tell you if you are compatible.
Please note you only ask these questions when you know someone well enough. The good thing is you don’t need to ask these questions directly, rather just ask yourself!
The 33 Key Questions:
1. Do I like them exactly as they are? That means you don’t expect them to change!
2. Do you have fun together?
3. Do they treat me well?
4. Am I a priority to them?
5. Do they respect me?
6. Do I feel safe with them?
7. Do I feel secure when I am with them and I am not with them?
8. Do they accept me as I am?
9. Can I be myself around them?
10. Do they bring out the best version of me?
11. Am I able to express myself to them in a hard situation?
12. Are they happy for me when good things happen in my life?
13. Do they support what I want in life?
14. Do I feel that I can follow my passions with them?
15. Am I still free to spend time with family, friends and alone time.
16. Do I like who you are I am with and without them?
17. Do the important people in my life like them?
18. Can I see myself growing old with them?
19. Are they looking for a long term commitment?
20. Are there any red flags?
21. Do they treat other people well?
22. Do they treat their family well?
23. Do they bring out the best in you?
24. Have they introduced you to the important people in their life?
25. Are they open to trying new things and open to new perspectives?
26. Do they make you happy?
27. Do their words match their actions?
About you both together:
28. Do they have the same morals/values as you?
29. Can you communicate openly and respectfully?
30. Do you have similar views on money?
31. Do you enjoy each other’s company?
32. Do you add to each other’s lives in positive ways?
33. Are you looking for the same type of relationship?
So if you answered yes to all the questions you are on track to the relationship of your dreams!
However, if you have some no’s it doesn’t mean that things aren’t going to work out. If you have answered no to some questions it may mean you need to do some more work on yourself. For instance if you can’t communicate when you are in a difficult situation – it is time to work on your communication skills and your ability to be authentically you. Same with issues of security – this may come from the baggage of previous relationships. What often happens if you may think you have dealt with your baggage until you date someone. It is normal for these issues to come up and the ideal place to deal with them in a healthy manner.
What you need to do is go through the list of questions to see which ones are important to you. It is time to be clear about what matters and identify your deal breakers. It is pretty obvious if you are looking for a long term relationship and they aren’t that it is a deal breaker for you. There is no point wasting time hoping they will change their mind – it may be a hard decision but it is better than being in a relationship that will go nowhere or wasting your time.
Things to be concerned about:
1. If they are not looking for a long term relationship – the odds don’t look good!
2. If there are red flags it is a good sign things won’t work out!
3. If they don’t treat others well.
4. If they don’t treat their family well.
5. If you can’t be yourself with them or if they don’t bring out the best in you.
6. If you have different morals/values.
7. If you don’t want the same type of relationship.
8. If you can’t accept them as they are.