If you are single you want to find someone you are attracted to and let’s face it most people would love someone who is good looking. Oh and rich wouldn’t hurt either!
It can even be easy to be swayed by looks or money!
So what happens if you have met someone who is really good looking or who has plenty of money – how do you know if they are right for you?
As much as people value good looks and money – they don’t ultimately make anyone happy in the long run.
How do you find out if someone has value beyond their looks, their money, their car or even hot chemistry?
- Same Values
Singles often look for someone who has the same interests as them but I want to let you know this isn’t important. In fact having different interests can be a good thing – you get to try new things. It is also important to have you own interests and things you like to do alone as well as part of a couple.
What you do need in common though are your values. Values are your deep believes of what is important in the way you live and work. Everyone has their own set of values – even if they don’t recognise them. Values can be so many things and I should dedicate a blog to that. But to keep things simple I will name a few – family, honesty, loyalty, freedom, fun, adventure, etc.
How do you know someone’s values when you date them? You find out from how they live their life – this will show you what they do and don’t value. For example if they tell you they value family and never see them – it’s likely they don’t value family!
If one person values financial security and the other person is a spend thrift – that is a conflict of values.
If one of you believes in God and the other is an atheist – you do not share a fundamental value. I could go on and illustrate many more differences but I did share some more in my previous blog Busting the Chemistry Myth .
Having shared values will build your connection with each other, where you don’t share the same values it can end up tearing you apart.
Shared values makes sharing your life easy.
- Do you Have Fun Together
You can have amazing chemistry with someone you don’t like or even someone who you constantly bicker with. To enjoy life you need to be with someone whose company you enjoy and who can make you laugh. Chemistry fades so it is important to actually like who the person is and how they make you FEEL. How many times have you looked back on a previous relationship where the person you were with didn’t make you feel good?
- Do they Accept you as you are? If they are trying to change you or you are trying to change them then it’s simple – they are NOT for you. The right person for you will actually accept you how you are! I know women in particular are guilty of adapting their lives for men – I call it changing footy jumpers. It is time to value yourself and choose someone who does values you! My advice is to start with accepting yourself as you!
Do you Like who they are?
Looks and money don’t cut it – do you like who they are? Are you overlooking things you don’t like just because they are good looking or rich. This point may sound simple but chemistry often overrides liking someone. The test is how do they make you FEEL!
- Is there Respect?
For men being respected is essential in a relationship. It is important that you can respect a guy for who he is – if you can’t respect him then he isn’t for you. Guys will feel the lack of respect and this will wreck the relationship. Women value love over respect, however, I want to tell the ladies to RESPECT yourselves – a guy will only treat you how you allow him to! So time for self-respect, self-love and boundaries.
Happy dating and don’t forget I can coach you to overcome the blocks that prevent you from getting the relationship of your dreams.