5 Tips to Get over Dating Fears

By July 25, 2015 Blog, Dating Tips
getting over dating fears

Are you single and wonder when and how you can meet someone? If you find yourself single over 30, let alone over 40 it can be easy to get bogged down with fear that you will never find someone.

Here are no top 4 tips to get over your fears:

  1. DON’T COMPLICATE THINGS
    Remember when you were young, meeting singles was SO much easier. Why? Because most young singles don’t over complicate things- to them dating is simple and FUN. They meet someone they like and they hangout! The secret to dating is to RELAX, don’t put pressure on yourself and enjoy the experience. Enjoy each and every moment; after all this could be the last time you are single. Don’t treat dating like job interviews or be in a hurry. There is plenty of time to meet the right person no matter what age you are. Being in a hurry will make you look desperate or choose the wrong person. So again ENJOY and RELAX.
  2. GET RID OF EXCUSES
    Do you come up with endless reasons why you can’t meet the right person? Like – there are no decent singles left; you don’t get the chance to meet anyone in your job; you are too busy, too old, too fat, too many players, to many bitches, blah blah blah. You may call them reasons but they are  excuses and limiting beliefs! You could  be stopping yourself from meeting someone by using and believing your excuses.It can feel safer hiding behind your excuses – safe and comfortable. But I can tell you there ARE awesome singles who want to meet YOU! It is your choice – you can choose an excuse or you can choose action and results. Which will it be?
  3. TAKE MASSIVE ACTION
    If you wanted a specific job, you would do what you needed to get it. Dating is no different. Decide YOU want to find love/relationship and take MASSIVE ACTION. The only thing that will stop you is fear. The brain uses fear to keep us safe from potentially harmful situations. Fight or flight.With dating you can have endless fears – fear of rejection, fear of never meeting anyone, fear of not being good enough, fear of not being liked, fear of missing out, fear of bothering people. Everyone experiences fear – the good news is you can face and overcome everyone of them. Use your courage to move forward and use the fight instead of flight! The first time will be the hardest, but it gets easier as you face your fears. Often it is easier than you thought, being open and vulnerable. It will actually bring you the success you seek. Keep going and the rewards of meeting that great single will be worth it. Always keep in mind that other singles face the same fears you do. If you let fear hold you back, you will miss out. You choose whether you let the fear  motivate or paralyse you. My advice is feel the fear and take massive action; fake it until you make it. Trust me it works.
  4. ACT NO MATTER HOW UNCOMFORTABLE IT FEELS
    Imagine you are in an empty room, you could either put up with the situation or go out and buy some furniture! You would take some actions – you might not know where to get the furniture or exactly what type of furniture you want but you would need to do SOMETHING! If you wanted to buy a car, you would go out and look for one – you wouldn’t magically expect it to arrive at your front door. And if you did you would be disappointed! I am surprised how often people expect the love of their life to instantly appear! Staying at home will not bring you what you want. You have to take action – go out and physically meet other people.
    – Do what you love;
    – Singles events;
    – Meetup groups;
    – Social groups;
    – Online dating;
    – Have fun – happy people are way more attractive;
    – Dance classes;
    – Sporting clubs
    Basically get out and about doing what you love, at the least you will be having fun. Flirt and smile at singles in the real world and online. Enjoy the experience.
  5. PRESENT YOURSELF IN THE BEST POSSIBLE LIGHT
    I often hear singles saying they won’t change themselves, that people should meet them and accept/like them as they are. This is true in the long run, when people know you, but to start with you need to present yourself in the best possible light to meet a quality single. You wouldn’t turn up to a job interview looking and acting less than your best – dating is no different! When I say don’t treat dating like a job interview I mean an interrogation but you should treat it in a way where you present yourself in the best possible light.

As always happy dating.

Debbie xx