Is it possible to really know if you have a connection with someone during a 5 minute speed date and is there anything you can do to make yourself more attractive to the opposite sex???? YES IT IS AND THERE IS!!!!!!! The Stanford’s Institute for Research carried out research on 1000 speed dates to see what makes some people connect and if it was possible to know in 5 minutes.
The full research can be found in ‘Making the Connection: Social Bonding in Courtship sitations.’
Sociologist Dan McFarland said ‘We wanted to see if there is anything about the interaction that matters or is it really just what I look like, what I do, what my motivation is. Is it all things that are psychological or in my heard or is there something in how we hit it off?’
The research actually found that connection comes from our words and how they are delivered. This means it really is possible to increase your chances of how you connect with the opposite sex at speed dating.
The research found:
• People connected where the focus of the conversation was on the women and showed alignment and understanding of her. This is totally different to what you would generally think – women often think they should focus on the guy.
• Asking too many questions does NOT work!!! Women in the study did not connect with men they had to ask question of, as there was no other conversation or where they guy didn’t know what to say.
• Women clicked with the men who used appreciate language (like good for you) and sympathy (that must have been tough for you).
• Surprisingly girls clicked with guys who interrupted them by finishing or adding to their sentences (but not by changing the subject). This showed the guys were understanding and interested in them.
• Not speaking in a monotone voice. Changing the way they spoke (ie tone, speed of talking, etc) make the person more attractive.
So next time you are going speed dating this is great information to be aware of.