Dating Sober, is it possible, can you do it?
It’s a growing trend to detox, whether it’s Dry January, Dry July, Go Sober October or just the chance to get healthy.
Detoxing is great but if you are used to dating with a glass of wine or a beer in your hand to calm the mix of nerves, anticipation and expectation, what do you do?
There is no need to stop dating because of a detox or let the lack of alcohol stop you from meeting new people, trying fun activities and trying new things. Remember, being sober and feeling healthy will actually make you feel more alive!
Dating sober allows you to be aware of how you are acting and what you want.
Dating Sober – 9 Simple How to do it!
1. Sober – What if your Date is Boring?
Finding out your date is boring is a good thing! Dating sober allows you to find out if you enjoy their company and saves wasting time on someone who you don’t. How many times have you gone on a date while drinking and thought someone was more interesting than they were? Alcohol relaxes you, but also dulls your senses and memory.Getting along with each other is the key to a good relationship and you have to like each all the time, not just when you are under the influence. When you’re sober you will actually end up having even better conversations and the best part is you will remember them!
2. Sober – What if you are Boring?
Maybe you think you are more fun after a drink or two and worry you will be boring without it’s effects. But the fact is drunk people are more likely to be boring without realising it as they tend to repeat themselves. When you are sober it is easier to see if you are boring the other person and it is also easier to read their body language.
3. Sober – How it Affects Flirting
Maybe you think you need to be tipsy to flirt. But the secret to flirting and maintaining someone’s interest is as simple as smiling, making eye contact, listening, and laughing.
4. Sober – Higher Standards
Alcohol shuts down the judgement side of your brain and allows you to do things that you wouldn’t usually do when you were sober. The good news is when you are not drinking you will have higher standards and be less likely to regret your choices.
Remember, no bad choice ever starts with salad! People rarely regret sober sex. When you are sober you will choose when you have sex and for the right reasons.
5. Sober – Choose People Worth Dating
If you choose people whose company you enjoy you won’t miss the alcohol and will be able to enjoy being sober!
6. Pick Where to Meet
Try meeting somewhere that doesn’t serve alcohol. It can help to take the lead in suggesting where to go. There are so many fun options to try, go for a milkshake or a coffee, visit a museum/gallery, go bowling or walk along the beach. Check out interesting events that might be happening in your town like markets, festivals, live music. Start exploring your town and your dates will become way more interesting. Think outside of the box!
There is also the added bonus that you will get to know each other better. If you do something active like hiking, indoor rock climbing or even dancing it will get your heart rate up. Did you know there is something called the misattribution of arousal where brain mistakes the increased heart rate as the same as when you get excited! As a result, you are both more likely to be attracted to each other! So if you want to increase attraction, do an activity!
7. Chose what you tell people
If you are permanently giving up alcohol chose what and when you tell people. People may understand if you are a recovering alcoholic but they can struggle to understand the people who chose not to drink for health or other reasons. Don’t feel pressured to drink or justify your decision. You can keep it simple, like just saying you are on a detox or something. It really is up to you what you say and if the person really can’t handle you not drinking they probably aren’t the one.
8. Ways to Chill Out
There are other ways to chill out than alcohol. Take the time to work out what works for you before a date. Maybe some exercise or meditation to increase the feel good hormones. Or try talking or journaling to deal with your feelings and concerns. Get out of the habit of overthinking and being in your head, also take a couple of deep breaths as a way to calm your nervous system.
Being nervous is normal and having butterflies and ‘that’ feeling when you meet someone you like is lovely and memorable.
In fact, I doubt you would want to miss out on that feeling. Fear and excitement are the same emotion, just depends which way you look at the experience. Reframe it to a more positive way of thinking. Alcohol can give you a false sense of security whereas when you are sober you are much more in tune to your instincts. So there is the added benefit of making dating safer for you.
When you are sober, you end up with a lot more time to do the things you love as you will not be wasting time on the couch hungover watching Netflix!
Finally I hope these tips has helped you and that you enjoy sober dating.