Have you ever noticed how people fail to commit to relationships because they keep asking questions that cause themselves doubt? Or that they continually focus on what could go wrong, what can go wrong, or what has happened to them in the past? Does this help them achieve a great relationship? No!
Did you know that our focus is just a view of the world – it is not true reality. Our focus can be influenced by so many things including our childhood and our past experiences. These experiences can act like a special lens on a camera allowing you only to see things a certain way; without giving you the full picture.
There may be a saying a picture never lies but have you ever noticed how photos don’t always accurately represent reality? How the photo looks depends on the angle it was taken and it is only a portion of a much bigger picture (as shown in this picture).
So what we focus on and how we represent this in our mind determines how we feel. If you are always looking at what will go wrong in a relationship or while dating – this is exactly what you will see. If you are always questioning what will go wrong, this questioning will direct your focus and directly impact how you think and feel. Basically we start to get a habitual pattern of what we focus on, how we then interrupt this focus and it really can end up limiting your emotional experience of dating and ultimately relationships! Our thoughts will then become our actions and we can unintentionally wreck what could have been a great relationship.
So what should you do? Change what you are focusing on – focus on the best that can happen rather than the worst. Don’t continually ask yourself questions that fuel fear; rather focus your thoughts on how lucky you are to have met someone great. If you do find yourself falling back into your old patterns – try yelling at yourself STOP IT!
As always happy dating x