Booked into speed dating and wondered what you should talk about? In this blog I am going to share some easy tips to answer this question.
If you’re a speed dating virgin and it’s normal to feel nervous! Don’t worry after the first couple of dates you will realise it can actually be fun!
The number one tip I can give you is to imagine you were meeting a person in real life – like in a pub. In this situation you would talk about light hearted fun things, you wouldn’t lead with what do you do for work, how long have you been single, etc! Speed dating is no different.
This may sound simple but I have found from running speed dating for six years it makes a difference and it something everyone can do. People who smile seem more approachable as smiling puts everyone at ease. So remember the most important thing you can do is to smile, say hello and introduce yourself when you first sit opposite your date. When you smile and laugh you give off great energy and people will relax and want to be around you.
- Plan Ahead
The best conversation is one that is natural and flows. You don’t need to have a rehearsed conversation however; it will take the pressure of you if you have something light hearted to talk about. You could come with a fun multiple choice question to get the conversation started. An example would be – if you had to give up chocolate or coffee which would it be? If someone asked me this question I would answer that as I have given up coffee already so the answer is simple – chocolate. In fact I couldn’t live without chocolate, I am a bit of a chocoholic. I gave up coffee in 2015 on a trip to India and I still love the smell and miss it every day. This could lead into so many other fun conversations. From something simple it can take you anywhere and you can end up having a fun conversation. Allow the conversation to flow naturally.
If you love music you could ask the person what was the best concert they ever went to, or if you love travel what is/was their favourite place.
The aim is for the conversation to be fun and light hearted and leave the person wanting more – ie wanting to talk to you more and see you again.
This is also why it is important to avoid questions that are too deep that make people think too much. This wastes your five minutes. You get one chance to make a first impression. An example of questions to avoid would be things like describe your life in one word or what would your biography say. Also questions like what is the most exciting thing you have done in the last month are not a great idea as this makes people think too much and can also make them feel like they have a boring life! I mean I have a life I love, but would struggle to answer that question.
- Avoid Talking Work
Unless you are a dolphin trainer, skydive instructor or travel writer this can get EXCEPTIONALLY boring having to talk work over and over again. I understand you may want to know what someone does but it can eat into your five minutes and it is not likely when you explain the boring details of your job to have the person wanting more!
- Don’t Just Talk about You
Everyone and I mean everyone likes to be heard. So don’t spend your whole five minutes talking about yourself. You may feel like you need to ‘sell’ yourself, however what has been proven to work best is when you connect to the other person through conversation, ie you both talk and both listen.
- Keep it Light
Everyone likes a bit of banter and a fun conversation. When you make someone laugh, it makes you memorable!
- What to Avoid
Other than work avoid talking about your ex, why your relationship didn’t work (in fact past relationships in general), being negative – it is not the time to talk about your faults or what you don’t do well (lets someone get to know you and like you first), anything too personal, religion or politics, asking someone where they live or who they life with (this makes women feel unsafe).
Finally remember no-one wants to feel like they are on a job interview.
The great thing about speed dating is it allows you to practice being able to talk and relate to the opposite sex. It is the one area where practice does make perfect. Conversation is a skill andcan be learnt.
The whole idea of speed dating is to see if you like someone enough to meet them again, there is plenty of time to find out all the finer details about them.
Happy speed dating.