You meet someone, go on a couple of dates and then you realise they aren’t for you. The question is how do you break up with someone other than ghosting them?
We often don’t explain our reasons for ending a relationship because it can feel impossible to know what to say. How do you reject someone kindly? What if they reply? And is there a non-awkward way to do it?
Many believe that ghosting is the answer, In fact a recent study found 25% people “ghost!” They feel like it is the easy option to save having that awkward conversation.
But ghosting is NOT the answer! In fact, ghosting is heartless and even cruel. It leaves the other person wondering what happened and what they did wrong, Did you die, did they not like you, did you say or do the wrong thing. It just leaves them hanging with so many unanswered questions.
You may not like breaking up with someone but it can be easier than you think.
Also, breaking up with someone in the right way says a lot about you as a person. It says that you have the ability to face difficult situations, that you are kind and conscious of other peoples feeling. Relationships are made up of dealing with other peoples feelings, so this is a good start to being able to deal with any sort of conversation.
How to Break up With Someone, Other Than Ghosting
1. Don’t Blame Anything Else
People don’t want to hurt other people’s feeling and say they ghost or do the gradual fade out because of this. The problem is both of these options end up hurting the person more in the long run. Don’t say things like I’m not ready or emotionally available’,’ You deserve better’, “It’s not you, it’s me’. How often has someone said this and gone on to marry/live with the next person. So, don’t blame anything else, or use a reason that isn’t true.
2. Be Clear
If there isn’t any chemistry, simply say so. Give them a clear message that is not open to interruption or hope that things may change.(ie keeping them around for an ego boost).
For example, ‘It was lovely to meet you and I had a good time. I just don’t feel there is the chemistry to take things any further. I wish you luck and happiness in the future.’
‘I really enjoyed meeting you, getting to know you, but tbh, I am not feeling the connection or that we are the right fit. I wish you good luck in the future’
‘It was nice to meet you and I enjoyed chatting, happy to meet again, but for me it would be as friends. It you are ok with that?
Hey, good to meet yesterday, I thought you were awesome but I didn’t feel a romantic connection’.
3. Make a Clean Break
Don’t keep following them on social media, or liking their posts. It they are still interested in you it will only give them false hope. Also, don’t keep sleeping with them because there isn’t anyone else!
4. Don’t Argue
If you are on the receiving end of one of these text messages, don’t argue with the message, simply accept it and move on. One of the other reasons people ghost is because the other person doesn’t accept the break up.
If someone doesn’t want to be with you, then it is simple, they don’t want to be with you! Accept it.
If you have been on the receiving end of ghosting it can be tough as rejection hurts. But there are so many reasons that someone will reject you and it is often not personal. Think about how many people that you meet in your day to day life, you may like them but you couldn’t imagine spending the rest of your life with them! Future happiness depends on choosing the person who is the right fit for you and dating is simply an experience of seeing who fits. If you have been ghosted don’t take it personally, rather find a way to reframe the experience in your mind,
Dare2Date love to help you with singles events and tailored coaching to enable you to achieve the success you are looking for, simply email Debbie@Dare2Date.com.au.