There are many ways to meet singles – it could be online dating, at a singles event or in real life. It really doesn’t matter how you meet, what is important is to be able to stand out and make a good impression. Dating is competitive so you want to be ahead of the crowd.
In last week’s blog I told you that according to 2000 singles the most attractive trait is a good conversation. Yep, conversation not looks, height, sense of humour or an amazing job.
This is great news as conversation is a skill and one you can learn.
However, from my experience as a Dating Coach and running singles events I have found many people struggle in this area. One of the questions I ask my customers is what they like to do on the weekend and what they like to do for fun.
You would think this is a fairly easy question to answer, but 8 out of 10 people struggle to answer the question. In fact I can often see their eyes glazing over! If they do answer the question they come up with a vague answer like exercise, hanging out with friends or family.
You may feel this isn’t a big deal, but my job is to help singles shine and make the best first impressions. As this is one of the first questions you will be asked it is important to have a great answer ready!
One of the questions I ask singles is ‘Would you date yourself?’ If they answer no then why would anyone else want to date them?
If you don’t like your live why would anyone else want to be a part of it!
Nowadays, singles are looking for someone who is happy with their life and people do not seek out boring people. Having a life you like that is full of varied interests is attractive. We all like to be around interesting people who are enjoying life.
If you are looking for a happy person, who enjoys life then it is time to start being the person you want to attract. The reason this is important is because like attracts like. If you are boring you are likely to attract a boring person!
Here are my top four tips to stand out in the dating world:
- Get out and Live your Life
Don’t wait to until you meet someone to do the things you have always wanted to. Use your single time to do interesting things, experiment, play, and find new and varied ways to enjoy life. Don’t live the same day 100 times. What you do Daily Matters!
In fact you are what you do every day! Each choice you make matters! I recommend looking at what you value and then taking daily action to make it happen. Don’t wait until you are in a relationship to live. Start with small choices that you can easily try and build up to trying new and varied experiences. Stop just existing and live – this will make you a magnet for interesting people. Remember like attracts like!
- Be prepared
As you have started to live your life fully, it will give you plenty of things to talk about. A picture paints a thousand words, as does a story. So be prepared and have some interesting stories up your sleeve when you meet new people. But remember don’t just talk about yourself, have some questions ready to ask them as no-one likes someone who simply talks about themselves. The important thing with a conversation is to have one that flows naturally, where you first build rapport by light hearted conversation. I know a lot of blogs give you examples of questions to ask, but beware of deep questions that make the other person have to think too much.
- Spend time with interesting people.
Who are you spending time with? Research has found that the people we hang out with have the biggest impact on us. In fact we are the sum of the 5 people we spend the most time with. Do you spend your time with critical, judgemental people who are scared to try new things? Or do you spend your time with open minded, curious, positive and adventurous people? Maybe it is time to look around at the people you spend time with, it may be time to cut some people out of your life and add some new friends.
- Follow your passions
When you are doing what you love you are instantly happier and more interesting to be around. Are you doing what you love? If you aren’t make some simple changes. You might say you love to travel, yet never go on a trip. In this case do some planning and book that exotic trip. Find what rocks your world and take steps to do it. Don’t let being single stop you.
When you follow these simple tips it will not only allow you to love your life you will be more attractive to the singles you meet. As a result it will transform your dating life and stand out on a date or at speed dating!