Running singles events/speed dating I get to meet lots of guys and observe common mistakes they make. I also get to see the guys who are successful. It isn’t the best looking guys who are successful but the guys who are confident and who can talk to women. So guys you can work on how you come across to women and increase your skill! When you haven’t been successful with women you can start to feel inadequate and think there is something wrong with you. But often there isn’t anything wrong with you, you just need to develop new skills!
I have seen a lot of guys at dating events get nervous and spend the whole time they are with an attractive woman talking about themselves. This puts women off and is a bad approach. It is ok to answer a question about yourself but it is not ok to spend the whole conversation taking about yourself.
In a previous Dare2Date article https://www.dare2date.com.au/click-5-minutes/ it talks about some research of 1000 speed daters and how the research showed a connection was made between men and women through words and how they are delivered. So basically the ability to talk to women increases your chances. You should:
Focus your conversation on the woman. The research found women felt connected to the man when he did this. The flip side was women did not connect with men who talked about themselves the whole time, who didn’t talk or who they had to ask too many questions to get them talking.
The things you say make a difference and can build the connection. Words can show the woman you understand her. So use appreciative language, as an example – ‘that must have been hard for you’, ‘good work’, or ‘I understand where you are coming from’. This makes women feel like you ‘get’ them.
The research found that finishing a women’s sentence (but not interrupting) shows you are listening and understand them.
Never talk in a monotone voice – women find this boring.
Women are attracted to men by how they feel when they are with him. So guys work on your conversation skills so you can connect with her and so she feels good in your company.
As always happy dating, meeting women, hooking up or whatever you want to call it.
By Debbie Rivers