The Lies Keeping you Single

By 29 April, 2020 April 30th, 2020 Blog, Dating Tips
lies

Lies Keeping you Single

I know that being single when you don’t want to be is frustrating!  But did you know that there are lies that you could be telling yourself that are keeping you single?

One of the biggest lies I hear from singles is that all the good ones are taken!

As a Relationship Coach, I hear this from singles constantly. Yet, I see people meet quality singles and fall in love every DAY especially my past clients.

Now you are single, which means that all the good singles are not taken! And in my extensive experience in the singles world, I know firsthand that there are countless quality singles out there!

The reality is there are approximately 7.6 billion people on the planet and imagine if only 1% wanted to date you and are what you are looking for!

That is 76 000 000!

You only need one! It is time to realise that you have so many opportunities for dating, love and romance and there is no lack!

I find the problem is that many singles are telling themselves common lies that are keeping them single. These lies show up as beliefs that ending up blocking the one thing they want. They become love blocks.

You end up becoming your own worst enemy! It is time to make the decision to stop telling yourself these lies!

How you think and what you believe creates the life you have; for good or for bad. The area of love is no different.

It is easy to see what you believe as a fact. But, simply because you believe something, doesn’t make it true. Our beliefs are generalisations or rules that we make about our lives and our experiences.

Did you know that if something happens to you three times in a row, your mind labels it as a pattern and believes it is true?

Your mind will then look for evidence to back up this belief as it doesn’t like to be wrong!

So, all it takes is for you to meet three singles that are awful for you to have the belief that there aren’t any good singles out there!

Or, get ghosted three times to think that no-one wants a relationship anymore!

It is easy to get caught up in the stories you tell yourself. To believe that you can’t change what you believe or change full stop. It is possible to change.

Whatever you believe has a powerful effect on your life. The belief creates a series of thoughts that lead to how you feel. How you think and feel then causes your actions.

Why not try looking at how these lies affect how you feel and how you act?

Let’s start by looking at the one belief that all the good singles are taken and see how this lie (negative belief) affects you.


 Thought: All the good singles are taken

Feelings: Hopeless, sad, unhappy, isolated

Actions: Don’t go out because what is the point, binge watch Netflix or whinge to a friend who feels the same way.

Outcome: Feel like you will be single forever because finding a good single is too hard. So, you don’t bother trying or put your best foot forward. You become judgemental of yourself and others.

Let’s see what happens when you let go of this lie and try on a different thought/belief. Look how it creates a totally different chain of events.


 Thought: Good singles are everywhere

Feelings: Optimistic, excited about your future

Actions:  You make eye contact and smile when you are out, try online dating and singles events. You have fun as you know there are plenty of good singles out there.

Outcome:  Know that you will meet someone and you are excited about it. It may not happen this week, this month but you know it will happen. You give off the vibe of a happy, confident person.

Can you see how it works? How the lies you tell yourself create your thoughts and feelings?

You can go through this process with any of the common lies and beliefs you have. Here are the common lies singles often tell themselves.

A good way to know what you believe is to look at your life. Your life is a printout out of what you believe to be true.

The lies you tell yourself (beliefs) can be tricky and hard to see. That is one of the reasons working with a Relationship coach works and can save you wasted time and energy. All you need to do is ring on 61450 771 382 or email Debbie@Dare2Date to arrange a chat.

Your’s to your success.

Debbie xx

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