The Modern Phenomenon – Dating Analysis Paralysis

By May 7, 2017 Blog, Uncategorized
benefits of the friend zone

Analysis Paralysis is another modern dating issue. It comes from the having too many ways to meet singles.

The fact is we have never had so many ways to meet singles, yet never had  so much trouble doing it. In fact people are lonelier than ever!

My opinion is that you can’t rule out dating in any medium. But there’s no denying the dating scene has changed with the introduction of online apps like Tinder and not necessarily for the better. It’s nice to know there are plenty of people out there, but too much choice isn’t always a good thing!

This phenomenon is ‘analysis paralysis’- you’re given SO much choice thanks to online dating that you fail to make the all-important decision to settle down. Dating has always been about the chase, but Tinder might be taking the game a little too far… we’re all suffering from serial first-dater syndrome, constantly thinking about our next potential match.

The thing is research by Psychologist Barry Schwartz in his book the Paradox of Choice has proven that even though we like having more options when making a decision, we are actually less satisfied with our choice when we have more options.

This isn’t just limited to dating – it affects many areas of our lives. What happens is instead of being happier, more choice increases your level of anxiety, depression and wasted time. Whether it is choosing what type of cereal to buy, what to watch on telly, what car to buy, what house to buy, choose insurance, what job to take, choose a lifetime partner – it all becomes overwhelming.

The fact is looking at endless dating profiles will give you the unrealistic idea that you have more options than you do.

Both women and men go out on dates and are overly judgemental. They can go on a date and literally find one thing that isn’t right and that’s it. It is literally NEXT!

In the past singles did not have so many readily available options to meet singles and as a result were more likely to find a happy relationship.

Why?

Two reasons:

  1. Less choice made the decision easier.
  2. People took more time to get to know the person. Remember people get nervous on a first date and can come across quite different to how they normally are.

Nowadays we make instant judgements and go back to looking for the perfect person as we can literally go online and get the next date. Dating sites also sell us the idea of the perfect person.

There is just one problem with this – NO-ONE is perfect! Literally NO-ONE!

You aren’t perfect and nor are they.

So why look for that perfect person when it is like looking for a unicorn!

The horrible fact is fewer relationships happen now than they did a decade ago due to this quest to find perfection and the belief that there is more choice than there is.

It’s a complete illusion. It is the paradox of choice!

The next time you go online, a dating app or a singles event maybe it is time to think that you will give this new person a chance. Who knows something good may come from it.

You might find  a relationship, instead of  being stuck in the paradox of choice.

Debbie xxoxx