A survey in 2017 found the top 3 dating deal breakers for the 50+. However, from my experience as a Dating Coach I would say these apply to mid/late 40’s as well!
I have been running singles events for the past 7 years and these are these extremely common issues.
The top 3 deal breakers were:
- Poor Health (78 percent)
- Financial instability (76 percent)
- Not physically attractive (75 percent)
The results are hardly surprising. Dating over 50 and even over 40 can feel very frustrating. Singles tell me it is hard enough to meet let alone deal with these issues.
Financial security is a big one, this age group have often lost half of their money in a first marriage, then worked hard to achieve financially security. They definitely don’t want to lose their hard earnt money all over again.
Everyone rates physical attraction and it is important for any age! The thing to be aware of is none of us look how we did in our 20’s. Although I would have to say for some of us who lived with the 80’s fashion I don’t think that is necessarily a bad thing!
My advice is to keep in mind that you can have attraction that goes beyond looks. It is often surprising when you meet someone who you didn’t think would be that attractive but who ends up being attractive as you get to know them. I mean google the Bay City Rollers they would be pretty cool to get to know but if you saw a photo you might dismiss them on dating site!
Ok so I have given you the facts which may well be depressing! Now I want to let you know that there are things you can do to improve your success rate for the opposite sex.
Here are six tips to improve your odds:
- Exercise, get fit, eat healthier and lose some weight
Exercise has been proven to make people feel better and it will also improve your health. By getting fit, eating healthier and losing weight you will deal with two of the three deal breakers – appearance and health automatically improving your odds.
- What you wear matters
Did you know that only 3% of a first impression is made up of what you say. 97% is made up of body language, how you dress, and your confidence. So how you present yourself is CRUCIAL and something you have control over. You only get one chance to make a good first impression and what you wear matters more than you think. It could be worthwhile getting a review of your wardrobe by a professional. Well fitted clothes in the right colours will make all the difference. Dare2Date can help you or even refer you to someone who can. There is no need to be a slave to fashion but up-to-date styles make a difference to how you are perceived. Too often woman are so worried about looking like mutton dressed up as lamb that they go to the other extreme and dress like a granny. There are great, flattering clothes for all ages – find clothes that suit you. Don’t use weight as an excuse to wear shapeless ill-fitting clothes. People can dress amazing at any size. For the men out there shoes also matter so make sure you have a good pair of shoes – women notice shoes. On the issue of what to wear I have a lot of advice for men in my blog – Guys 15 Tips to Look Sexier for Women.I do want to add that if you are grumpy or uptight, you could wear the best outfit and look amazing. But no-one is attracted to someone who looks grumpy or uptight. So it is important to smile!
- Ladies—Update your hair and makeup
You can easily get stuck in a rut of what you think looks good when it comes to hair and make up. I recommend you go to a new hairdresser and get a colour/style that suits you now. If you go to the same hairdresser you are likely to get a different version of the same thing. This is an area that is worth spending money on. So many surveys support this fact – a Match.com survey of 5000 men found the 3 most important things to men about a women’s looks were: teeth, hair and clothes (all things that can be easily changed). Ladies men love hair so avoid tying your hair back, putting it a bun or thinking it is time for short hair. If your hair is so long that you have to wear it up then it is time for a haircut. Men love hair and don’t get the chance to appreciate it, if it is always tied back. A feminine look is something guys love and most guys do not like super short hair. Age changes the type of make-up that looks good on you. Men also don’t like women wearing heavy make-up, but they do love a woman who subtlety applies make up that plays up her best features. So it is a great idea to learn how to apply make-up that suits you. Try going somewhere, like the makeup counters at Myers, where they have makeup artists who can teach you how to properly apply your makeup.
- Having a purpose and energy
No one wants to date someone who isn’t happy with their life. In this age group having a zest for life will make a difference to your success dating. No-one wants someone who sits on the couch and watches TV all the time. Create an interesting life to attract someone interesting! Get out it will give you more energy and change your mindset. It will also give you more to talk about on a date!
- Your outlook matters
Your outlook on life matters – if you hate the world and life it will be hard to attract the right person. Everyone likes someone who is optimistic. A good relationship starts with you and shouldn’t be used to fill up the blank holes in your life. It is important to build a life you like and then you will be able to share it with someone.
- Great expectations
When you look online you will see lots of attractive singles and it is easy to believe you should date an Elle MacPherson or George Clooney lookalike as these celebrities are both in their 50’s. The Elle and George lookalikes are few and far between so I recommend being realistic as you could rule out so many singles that could be perfect for you. Also every single I speak to says they look young for their age yet they are the age they are. Choices made on the superficial and age can work but they also severely limit your choices. Be open and curious you never know what may happen. Some of the best relationships happen this way.
I can tell you it is possible to find love in when you are in your mid/late forties and fifties. In fact I have had so many success stories in this age range. Making sure you do what you can to give yourself the best possible chance is just smart!