Understand Relationships Before You Get into One and Get Hurt Again

By 1 May, 2021 May 3rd, 2021 Blog, Dating Tips
Understand relationships

Do you want to understand relationships before you get into one?

Or do you believe that when you meet the right person everything will run smoothly and there won’t be any problems?

Or do you think it is enough to just enjoy each others company?

The reality is that in any relationship between two different people there will be bumps in the road to love! There will be ups and downs as well as good and bad times, that is life.

Think of a good relationship, like a good movie! The best movies are the ones where you laugh, you cry, you get scared and where you feel happy! No one likes a bland movie or a bland relationship!

It is important to understand relationships take work, commitment and the ability to adapt to change.

7 Things to Understand Relationships

1. Understand Relationships 

It is important to understand relationships and what makes them happy. Each relationship is as unique as the people in it. However, it is important to understand relationships need to have good communication, healthy boundaries, mutual respect, trust and support for each other to be healthy. 

2. There is 69% of Conflict in Relationships that are Unsolvable

It may sound unbelievable but as much as 69% of conflict in relationships is unresolvable. Opposites attract and this is a huge part of what creates problems in relationships.   The real reason that you are attracted to someone opposite to you is that they make your life richer and more fun. However, the flip side is they stretch and annoy you because they funnily enough aren’t like YOU!

When someone is opposite to you it means that they will have a completely different type of personality to yours. It could mean that they are an introvert and you are an extrovert or vice versa. When someone is opposite to you it means that they will have a completely different type of personality and that will cause you problems as you can’t solve someone’s personality. There can also be fundamental differences in your personalities, lifestyles, your values, etc. These are what drew you to each other to start with!

It is important to understand relationships will have conflict and it isn’t a sign that your relationship won’t stand the test of time.  Arguments are normal for even the most successful couples. It is all about how you deal with those issues and arguments.

 You need to realise that you can’t solve someone’s personality!

So how do you deal with this! First of all, you need to understand relationships will have disagreements So, know you will disagree and you don’t be mean to each other. Try naming the issues as one of those unresolvable problems!

Understand relationships, it is okay to disagree ASAP and reconnect ASAP so it only affects you for a short time instead of days, weeks, months or even years!

3. Love Isn’t Enough

Love is not an object but a doing word. You only have a relationship when you are relating to each other. You need to understand relationships aren’t based on feelings alone.  There will be times where you don’t feel like being nice, generous or loving. It’s an action. Understand relationships need to be loving even when you don’t feel like it.

4. Understand Relationships Take Effort 

It is easy to expect relationships to be easy. The reality is in the early days when you are under the influence of chemistry they often are easy as you tend to like everything about the other person, even the things you HATE! That is because when you are under the effects of chemistry which shuts down the logical side of your brain about the person you are in love with. This lasts for 3 months to 3 years! When that chemistry wears off it is important to understand relationships undergo a change of stage and may require more deliberate effort.

Understand relationships should ALWAYS be a priority Understand relationships that are strong and healthy don’t magically happen and actually take considered effort. Research has shown that many couples spend less than 10 minutes a day talking to each other. Imagine doing that in any other area of your life, you wouldn’t be successful, would you? Understand relationships that work take time and effort.

5. Understand Relationships are Not 50/50

Understand relationships are not always fair, somebody’s going to give more at times and someone’s going to give less and then vice versa.  It’s about being committed to giving your relationship your all so you can come up with creative solutions as to who does what, when and how. It’s about both putting in 110%, in fact, it’s important to understand relationships that are 50/50 are ones where they are aiming way too low!

6. Understand Relationships are Not About One Person Being Everything!

When you put pressure on one single person to meet all of your needs you are setting yourself up for failure. Understand relationships that work need you to know your person is not going to meet all of your needs all of the time. You have family and friends, who also all play a role in your life.

7. Understand Relationships are about Acceptance

It is important to accept your person as they are,  not for who you want them to be! No matter how hard you try, you can’t force your partner to change. You can change yourself, but you can’t change anybody else. Nagging, crying, threatening, begging, insisting on change doesn’t work. Understand relationships that focus on what works, on what you can do, and have expectations that are realistic are the ones that last the test of time.

Conclusion

If you want help understanding relationships before you get into one, so you can find the right relationship, why not book a free coaching session. To book in click here. 

If you want to know what a Relationship Coach does, you can find out reading – Why do I Need a Dating/Relationship Coach?

Debbie

 

 

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